In a surprising move, the Tampa Bay Lightning Cheerleaders opted out of their contract with the hockey team and signed a lucrative free agent deal with the Drug Runners on Friday. Reports suggest that the Cheerleaders will double their salary with their new organization, as well as substantially increase their benefits and perks.“We just made them an offer they couldn’t refuse,” said Drug Runners President Jeff Andreoli. “I mean it really was a no-brainer. We’re better looking than the Lightning players, and more people show up to our events than those stupid hockey games. I mean who cares about hockey in Florida?”
The Cheerleaders were excited about their new deal, and are looking forward to helping cheer on the Drug Runners to many successful races. “I know I’ll run faster if I have those beauties motivating me and cheering me on,” said Drug Runner John Huff. Although Andreoli has not explicitly prohibited the Drug Runners from dating the cheerleaders, he did say the practice will be discouraged. Regardless, junior Drug Runner and renowned playboy Justin Nunamaker was seen heading into the Marriott Waterside arm-in-arm with two of the cheerleaders later in the day.
1 comment:
"I couldn't pass up the oppurtunity when President Andreoli agreed to cover all expenses for my breast enhancement and botox injections. It is evident that he really cares about each member of the team."
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